The Three Act Love Story
Written By Mingjie “MJ” Zhai, True Love-Inspired
Act I: Grudges
The cost of a grudge for a man I couldn’t forgive
on a past that I chose to relive
That I saw coming.
You made a mess out of me, liquid pools, lakes on satin sheets
Drenched in sweat between heavy breaths, we both exhaled
in your room, where your mother’s portrait witnessed
The pain deep,
thrusted into both our bodies,
into the depths of our souls
into each other’s pores, we sweat out the toxins
Clearing space so we could see the possibilities
of each other, for each other, with each other.
I felt the thrust of your love push me into an ecstasy
I discovered the depths of the Black Sea’s peace
in the seam between reality and dreams.
I had to scream
out the truth:
“I love you.”
But like Persephone, I looked back
like an old dream, familiar
black and white.
Where a man left his girl alone at night
while he was out drenched in liquor, filled with delusions
Pride, power, prestige
he wanted it all
including extra trophies to reinforce his status
embracing an ambitious women
while leaving behind an empty bed
for the woman who waited.
She was panicked,
for she knew her man was in the arms of another woman.
Nothing more painful, more tortuous than to experience that betrayal
had sliced through the bond
Like a poisonous sword
festering the flesh between two lovers,
and it was this she saw in the darkness past.
She looked back
And felt her pain
The woman you had betrayed.
For she was me and I her,
upon the stains of your alcoholic breath.
You woke and saw the ghost of your past
and you were afraid that we would never forgive nor forget
the betrayal of two women,
one by you and another by another man like you.
And I did betray you.
I tested you.
Listened to the Jezebel tell me that you were sleeping around
that my body was just a toy and my mind just a tool for you,
When you said you wanted my body exclusively,
when you said you wanted to be my best friend,
when you took me out to your Cheers spot,
when you wanted to introduce me to your friends,
when you held my hand steadily down the streets of K-town,
I had listened to the spirit of doubt, and doubted my hopes
that we would be beautiful co-parents, co-collectively creating our communities
by being the change we co-collectively wanted to see in this world
a world of colors like MJ in Captain EO,
but the infighting I had was the spirit of doubt, discouragement, and disillusionment,
I wound up committing the same crime I had projection upon you
I had allowed that jezabel spirit, that masculine spirit in disguise as a female spirit, deceive me,
and became the abuser that I had accused you to be,
manifesting into present, sabotaging our present,
the grudge on replay, propelled by jezebel, and became the projection
that almost sabotaged our future
if it were not for the art of transformation,
I would have kept this illusion as my reality,
but now I see the truth, outlined plain as the fields of Laura Ingall’s prairie
in this spoken word, called “The Three Act Love Story.”
Act II: Huntress & Eve-O Transforming
So I hunt for men, black as night, voice as soft as satin, a heart as calm as fine wine.
I told the universe to find another man like you, I said,
“Find me an intelligent, business minded, African-American man,”
and the universe responded after the GetLit Competition
He wore a smile and energetically felt my capricornic gravity.
The same energy that had you attracting
had you realizing that this charming was harming
So you kept a wall around your heart
kept your distance from this instance
and in your wisdom,
kept your golden silence.
Whether or not intended,
your silence allowed me to tap into my feminine
and discover my own shadows, within.
That was when I began transforming the Jezebel into the Divine Feminine
Black men upon Black men I had begun to pursue,
Only to discover,
that skin color
had nothing to do
with the color of Love
Between me and you.
Any Black man after you, that I had pursued
was only because I had already fallen for you.
When I began seeing the deception,
I saw the true nature of Saturn’s contraption.
When I began trusting in “fear no evil,”
when I began leaning into the fear in evil,
when I began embracing my shadows,
I saw the beauty in the beast,
I saw the true nature of my shadows,
And I loosed compassion upon all 13s,
That was when
I discovered the true nature of black;
Black is the color of all colors
Pigmented for all colors condensed.
The carrier of God’s people,
The rays of the sun, intensed
Beaming into the pigments
From those long suffering
Melanin is the darkening
The weight of all those fallen
the color of all colors,
God commanded Moses
to set his people free.
But Moses didn’t want this heavy burden
of such a daunting task.
so he made excuses over,
fumbled, toiled, and avoided.
He was an unwilling volunteer of God’s great assignment
Though he wanted to quit every step of the way,
he leaned into the fear
and embraced the Fires of Anger
through the burning bush,
and discovered God there.
Lining to blackness
is moonlight’s illumination upon a vast midnight ocean,
the glitter among the universe you hold;
I discovered a rose in concrete
in your mind, your body, your soul.
I discovered the true nature of your bloodline
The original ancestors
The line of Abe
And I, the line of Cain.
In this reality matrix
We call a universe.
Act III: The Greatest Love Story
Our Love Story transforming
into our greatest creation
A creation that neither your company nor mine could even compare close to;
It is the co-collective creation of our beautiful blasian babies
that we would love and adore,
raise with pride,
invest our minds, hearts, and it would each drive
us to build our respective businesses
to protect, profess and provide
for each other’s seeds,
to achieve its greatest feat
and parenthood would be our greatest love story believed.
I’m walking the Triple 7
through my being and becoming
a woman in her full beauty,
a love story transforming.
I’m walking the path of most resistance
Narrow is the way
amid a forest of valleys, peaks and shadows of destruction
I continue towards
Denouement: A Love Letter to Our Fem.i.nine
The walk of True Love is the Love of True Self.
Is the true essence
Of all the Divine feminine.
When we discover what our higher walk is
Since it was Eve who first bit from the fruit
and it was Adam who pursued
then the reversal to a reversed world is thus this:
it is the O who must first pay the pied piper’s price
By praying to Jesus Christ
Who covers all debts
Through his blood
and conquered love in action
from beginning to end
So the bet was won
that now it’s up to Eve to believe
that God repays the pied piper in full
so that all of Eve’s cups overfloweth
breaking all multi generational curses,
the blood overflows to the rivers of our ancestors.
Eve-O’s repay Jesus by walking his walk
And the currency he asks of us is patience, kindness, and compassion,
while in full pursuit of our happiness
by being patient and persistent in showing up for others,
In the walk of our higher path,
blessed by Holy Spirit,
Protecting our children, trusting our sisters, and standing up for all life-givers,
Our divine feminine.
The way I’m showing up for you,
is also my way of showing up for others.
The path is the persistent pursuit of
patience, kindness, compassion with myself
so that it mirrors you.
That takes humility in me
to love you
wherever you are,
however you are,
whoever you are,
In this moment
In this reality
Exactly as you are.
I chose chocolate because I chose chocolate.
I chose love because I chose love.
I chose you because I chose you.
Not to be or to be?
I choose B.
For the Hero’s Workshop
Journaling, Journalism, and the Personal Journey